“Shameless” chronicles the ongoing adventures of a moral free paparazzi named Thud! What you are about to read MIGHT be true, but probably isn’t!
Things have been pretty quiet lately, and I figure that was due to Blade being on the other side of the planet, visiting his Aunt in Singapore. This peace and quiet was shattered at 6:45 this morning. I woke to what sounded like a death-metal band playing in my downstairs living room. I grabbed the closest most dangerous thing I could find (a wisk) and proceeded down to the ruckus.
What I uncovered wasn’t a burglar, it was my good friend Blade. He smelled like vodka and pie. He said that we should go to the house of a reality show family and try to get some pics of the family. I was in. The couple we were goin’ to take pics of is a rowdy bunch. I knew this adventure would be action packed. Last time the paparazzi sieged the privacy of this family it ended with the famous husband breaking a good friend of mine’s nose.
We arrived and the scene seemed pretty quiet. No fellow paparazzi were there, and the usually locked gate was open. This was the perfect opportunity. We snuck into the back area of the house, where there is a giant window that would provide some really lucrative shots! Just as we started to peer in to the house, I heard a series of scary words that I had only previously heard on popular police movies. The voice said “FREEZE MOTHERF$%^ER!!! My brain quickly relayed the message to my legs to get movin’!!! As Blade and I were running, I noticed that one second Blade was there, and the next he was gone.
When I scanned the area to see what happened to my friend I saw him lying on the ground. I looked at the famous celebrity daddy, and in his hand was a taser that he was quickly reloading. He aimed it at me, and I aimed my only weapon (my camera) at him! Sure I had to take thousands of volts to the central nervous system, but he didn’t take my camera. I had taken a very cover-worthy photo of the guy aiming the taser at me!!! In a weird way, it was a very exhilarating experience…kinda like skydiving. I know what you’re thinking…and you’re right…I’m Shameless!!
